Ok! So, the first thing I notice is that your vocal track is extremely off time. If you struggle with that, I'd recommend lining up the vocal + karaoke with the original song, so you can match up where the voice is supposed to be with the original singer.
Is this your own UST? If it is, congratulations on the pitchbends, which are not terrible for a beginner, besides some sort of obnoxious "sudden jumps" during the chorus. If this isn't your UST, remember you can always edit those to sound less extreme. They don't work well with every UTAU.
Beyond that, I think this was sort of a poor song choice for this voicebank. It's a rather soft bank on a song that needs a lot of brightness, power, and high treble, which this voicebank lacks and would be almost impossible to mix decently (which also seemed to be a struggle). Just remember to pick a fitting voice for each piece!
Overall? Not terrible for a first-time public cover. You'll improve with time.