There Goes Another One

Discussion in 'Writing' started by Animé Fan, Jan 5, 2017.

  1. Animé Fan

    Animé Fan Head of the Shonen Academy Defender of Defoko

    Messages
    363
    Likes Received
    652
    Trophy Points
    123
    A short story that popped up in my head as I was going to bed last night and I wanted to write it down. It's supposed to be written through Q.P.'s perspective.

    January 4, 2017

    [​IMG] "A boy died today. That might not sound like a big deal, but what I'm about to tell you will hopefully make you think otherwise. It was a quarter past midnight and I was just on my way home, when I suddenly spotted a local diner whose refined structure defied that of the world it resided in. It wasn't just your average eating establishment or five-star
    restaurant. Their servers were quite young and dressed in colorful French maid uniforms; a cosplay café. As charming as the uniforms looked, I couldn't help but wince at the servers. They were all boys no older than me and had faces so blank they seemed more or less dead; however, there was one server that caught my attention as I peered through the café window. He was the runt of the litter, almost about my age and dressed in a black uniform. His eyes were large as dinner plates and dark as the void, while his short raven hair shimmered like obsidian. Despite how human he appeared, the boy was just like all the other servers; an automaton who merely lives to serve and nothing more. As I continued to stare at this boy, I thought of the troubles he must've faced that led him to this unfortunate Fate and myself if I were placed in his shoes. Most of all, I wished there was something I could do to help this boy escape his costumed cage. A voice suddenly broke me out of my trance and I took another look through the café window. A tall figure, supposedly the café's head manager, had the boy in the air by the shoulders, saying words that were just too vulgar to even mention. And then, SNAP!!! The following words shot at me like a stray bullet:

    Hmph. There goes another one.

    The head manager then yelled at the top of his lungs with words so brutal that I refused to hold in my tears at every insult he threw. The outburst didn't last until another half hour. When all seemed still, I took one last peek through the window and saw the same server boy, but at the same time, it was not the same server boy. This boy lay limp against the satin walls, with deep red stains all over his black maid uniform. His head leaned at an irregular right angle and sagged on his shoulder, while his hair no longer shined and his large eyes truly did become the void. All in one go, I witnessed a young boy live his life as a server, only to have it taken away from him. To the world, the boy really was nothing but an automaton who lives to serve and nothing more. As I stared at the boy one last time, I finally asked myself; if I put myself in his situation, will I too suffer the same as he?"
     
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2017
    Antonio Zurusaki, Arissa and partial like this.
  2.  
  3. partial

    partial Floating in a Fragment somewhere. Retired User Supporter Defender of Defoko

    Messages
    715
    Likes Received
    1,455
    Trophy Points
    118
    Very interesting read! ouo 9
     
  4. Animé Fan

    Animé Fan Head of the Shonen Academy Defender of Defoko

    Messages
    363
    Likes Received
    652
    Trophy Points
    123
    Thanks.
     
    partial likes this.
  5. Arissa

    Arissa Ritsu's Renegades Defender of Defoko

    Messages
    465
    Likes Received
    524
    Trophy Points
    117
    Definitely interesting. I can see where you're coming from with this, as sad as it is.
     
  6. Animé Fan

    Animé Fan Head of the Shonen Academy Defender of Defoko

    Messages
    363
    Likes Received
    652
    Trophy Points
    123
    It just popped into my head while I was sleeping and I had to write it down. I tried my best not to make it sound too sappy, otherwise it wouldn't be believable.
     
    Arissa likes this.
  7. Arissa

    Arissa Ritsu's Renegades Defender of Defoko

    Messages
    465
    Likes Received
    524
    Trophy Points
    117
    Very nice work ^^
     
  8. Animé Fan

    Animé Fan Head of the Shonen Academy Defender of Defoko

    Messages
    363
    Likes Received
    652
    Trophy Points
    123
    Thanks. ^^
     
    Arissa likes this.
  9. Antonio Zurusaki

    Antonio Zurusaki Never Gonna Give You Up Defender of Defoko

    Messages
    102
    Likes Received
    275
    Trophy Points
    73
    Oh my god, I was reading this while listening to Mad World.
    It's sad i like it.
     
    Arissa likes this.
  10. Animé Fan

    Animé Fan Head of the Shonen Academy Defender of Defoko

    Messages
    363
    Likes Received
    652
    Trophy Points
    123
    Thanks. I wanted to make sure the short story didn't sound too sappy, thus why it's brief and maybe a bit too wordy?
     
  11. Antonio Zurusaki

    Antonio Zurusaki Never Gonna Give You Up Defender of Defoko

    Messages
    102
    Likes Received
    275
    Trophy Points
    73
    I think it's OK ^^
    I think a dreamt about something similar years ago...
     
  12. Animé Fan

    Animé Fan Head of the Shonen Academy Defender of Defoko

    Messages
    363
    Likes Received
    652
    Trophy Points
    123
    Though I worry that people might mistake this short story for something else.
     
    Arissa likes this.
  13. Antonio Zurusaki

    Antonio Zurusaki Never Gonna Give You Up Defender of Defoko

    Messages
    102
    Likes Received
    275
    Trophy Points
    73
    I don't :smile:
     
  14. Animé Fan

    Animé Fan Head of the Shonen Academy Defender of Defoko

    Messages
    363
    Likes Received
    652
    Trophy Points
    123
    At least some appreciate for what it is and now hot it caters to their whims.
     
    Arissa likes this.

Share This Page